2020 certainly feels like the worst year ever, one we will never forget in a long time.
With the unexpected twist of events, we may have put a pause to many of our plans. The long list of things we planned to do in our bucket list this year. Some events may also have changed our perceptions, challenging our fundamental beliefs during this period.
However, we often learn the most from the worst moments we have experienced.
While I am excited about the start to a new year (in a few days), there is also a sense of finality I am looking forward to, leaving some of the things behind in 2020.
Here’s a list of things I am seeking/creating closure for myself:
We can’t hustle all the time. In the midst of everything, it is easy for us to lose track of where we are heading towards, and why we do what we do in the first place.
At some point, we have to take inventory of how we feel and be honest with ourselves. Are we paying attention to what makes us feel alive? What sparks joy to you? What are you doing when you are the happiest? Who are you with when you are the happiest?
And conversely, what makes you feel tired all the time? What is genuinely draining your energy? What are you holding on to that is killing you inside? And how would it feel for you to let go?
Stop comparing our lives to others. It gets frustrating sometimes, seeing others who seem to have everything figured out. The ideal life where everything is just one reach away.
Somehow they got it “right”, while you got it “wrong”. Somehow they could make it work out when you could not. Somehow it just seems so easy for them, and it must be exhausting to watch. (I can’t even get enough sleep while trying to stay afloat from my current priorities!)
But it will not feel like this forever. As difficult as it may be, perhaps we have to learn to trust the process. And set ourselves up, knowing that characters in the story need time and hard work to grow too. It is about having the faith that we will be the main characters in the narrative one day.
And to me, it is asking myself these questions — How can we show up for ourselves right now? When the day comes, will we be ready to get what we need with open arms? Are we intentionally working towards that day, where we achieve our version of success?
And lastly, forgive ourselves for the mistakes made. Without replaying them in our heads over and over again. It is easy to look back and think about how things that have gone wrong, or how it could have been different. Or trying to seek the closure that we may never get.
Life is difficult. And we will continue to make lots of decisions, some wrong ones. But this does not make us bad people. This only makes us human.
We are learning, and we are allowed to show up in the world in our imperfect ways. In 2021, we will learn to live better. We will learn to fail faster, but fail better.
I hope we enter 2021 with an open heart again, and create a year that is better, calmer and kinder than the one we are currently having.
